In Search of My Sparkle

I suppose it happens to everyone now and again, but I was quite appalled earlier this week to realize that I had lost my sparkle.  I’ve been sitting in the dark all week.  Had my sparkle simply been a facade, a mask that dissolved in water, a magic spell with an expiration I had been oblivious to? It felt like stepping out into snowy weather to grab the mail and realizing a second too late that the door had locked behind me and I was devoid of both coat and keys.  The icy wind all but smacked me in the face.

Now if you know me or have been reading my blogs, you can be pretty certain that I am speaking metaphorically.  I live in Nevada surrounded by neon lights and warm weather.  It has actually been in the 70s all week.  What I mean is that my personality lost its warmth.  My sunny disposition went right out the window, and I’m not really sure how it happened. I mean . . .  I was feeling so positive when I wrote last week’s blog.  I was super excited about the direction of my business and thankful for family time.  Don’t get me wrong! I am still incredibly thankful.  What’s not to love about working at home, making my own hours, and having the option of doing so while still wearing my pajamas?  It’s a great gig.  

Maybe the holidays got to me.  I did spend Monday doing some online shopping for Christmas presents.  Perhaps it was the knowledge that I would ship presents to loved ones rather than delivering them in person that got me in a funk.  Maybe it was the realization that every year commercialism grabs a firmer hold and chokes out the spirit of Christmas.  How did Black Friday and Cyber Monday turn into a week long extravaganza?  The Black Friday sales started online on Tuesday and brick and mortar on Thursday.  Cyber Monday got extended until Wednesday, and in some instances, is still going strong today.  My email account has been inundated with sales ads.  I appreciate the art of giving and have always been one to enjoy giving over receiving, but I think this whole thing has gotten out of hand.

Maybe I can blame it on hormones or a mid-life crisis.  It is disconcerting to see the steady rise of my weight on the scale.  No matter what I eat or don’t eat, my ass keeps expanding.  My dog has even started to mock me.  He has started taking me for daily walks, sometimes several a day and I swear he keeps calling me “Fatty”.  He has begun to watch me eat, and it isn’t so much that he is begging for me to share.  It is more like he is questioning, “Are you really sure you should be eating that?”

Whatever the reason for my dismay, it has clearly drained my energy.  Aside from the walks my dog has urged me to take, I have simply morphed into a lump resembling Jabba the Hutt from Star Wars: fat, green, and stationary.  I have neglected my work and spent hours watching Grey’s Anatomy reruns, and I have to say that I have become rather sick of my own company.  Something needs to be done to correct the situation.  I need my sparkle back even if it requires a spit shine.

Therefore, I am closing out this blog to go put on my newly acquired and larger sized jogging pants and head for the gym.  I’m going to listen to some upbeat music and attempt to work my butt off.  Then I plan to take a long soak in the tub followed by a few hours writing the next chapter of my book.  Tonight I will cook a healthy yet delicious dinner and end the evening by splurging on some hot cocoa, Christmas music, and tree decorating with my mom.  It is time to restore my shine.  I sincerely hope that those of you who are struggling can find a way out of your funk too!

Daily Post Prompt: Sparklesmile-2192672_1920

4 thoughts on “In Search of My Sparkle

  1. I loved this. I felt like you were writing words from my head. You must be my age, because I feel as you do. Scale keeps rising, I keep accepting, fighting it, accepting, fighting…! I love your positive attitude and determination to get out of the funk and find your sparkle. You will find it no doubt. I hope your evening with your Mom decorating is lovely! Enjoy – and hang in there. We all get dull at times and need a buffing!


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